Shakey cameras and sticks: The Blair Witch Project Review

Hello fellow people of the internet. Its been ages since I posted anything on the blog (due to the summer and also personal reasons) and felt it seemed necessary to do another review. 

So the film to talk about today is what I only saw just a week ago and that is 'The Blair Witch Project'. This is also being reviewed as the new movie comes out soon and felt curious to what made this one so memorable.

Your probably screaming at me saying, "but everyone know's what happens in that film" or "Ahhh its just boring init. Just three students walking about with crap camera work". Well I don't care.

Ok so this film as you've probably all guessed is about three students who go to shoot a documentary in the woods about an urban legend of a supposed Witch living there. So they set out to find this legend and to see if this Witch is real or just a silly story that is told to tell around a campfire to make people piss themselves. 

Pros

The film does not reveal a thing during the start, and the only information we are given is through published books or in interviews with the local community. As the characters have no idea what they are dealing, then with neither does the audience making the film a much more uncomfortable and creepy experience. 

Also having the whole film shot completely on video camcorder and creates a feeling of realism and what unfolds onscreen is something which actually does happen as the actors filmed the experience themselves whilst the directors made an already eerie atmosphere eerier. By spooking them in real time with noises and man made objects causing them to feel frightened. 

Another crucial thing this film did was creating a psychological fear of what was happening around the characters which built up to the end. As you never saw the so called "Witch" which painted a nightmarish picture in your head of what the three students where facing.

Cons

The films running time is over two hours long, and for a film which only involves three people in the woods squabbling without much else going on. It can prove to be rather boring at times, to the point where I almost lost interest skipping some important parts. So a shorter running time would of made this film much better. 

Another thing is the pointless footage of our cast crossing rivers and having the bad camera work, although I understand why its there as its supposed to add to the found footage "realism" but it just becomes irritating at times. 




I feel the Blair Witch Project is an interesting film that really plays on the mind of the viewer without using cheap jump scares or showing you the witch. Although this film is either love it or hate it, I do in fact enjoy it. Now to watch the 2016 sequel ! 

Thank you for reading.

That darn Bandicoot !

So, about a month ago. Sony revealed at E3 this year that there will be a remastered version of the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, and they are starting from the ground up. With completely new textures, models and levels that resemble the originals for the next generation console. 



This sounds like a very exciting thing to come out from Sony, because to be honest, the attempt to incorporate Crash in Skylanders Imaginators is a bit rubbish. Now Skylanders at first was a really cool concept of bringing toys life, but proved to be an incredibly expensive experience that to me had little replay value and was more of a cheap money grab. Crash in the imaginators version looks stumpy , with a goofy attitude that looks and will probably respond very sluggishly, where as 90's Crash was incredibly responsive and had a sleek look to him that was cool whilst having an insane approach to things. Sony need to get this right in order to make it appeal to the generation who grew up with the originals. As getting Crash's look on point is key, with upgrading the texture of his fur and clothing but keeping that triangular look to his body.

Now the demographic for the game doesn't matter as the original titles where released in the mid 90's and was easily picked up by teenagers like myself and especially for the current generation of younger gamer's. What the remastered version also needs is to make sure it holds the same difficult strategy that the originals possessed,  as Crash 1 was bloody difficult but the other two sequels had diluted the difficulty which was fair. I'm more excited to see the remastered version of Crash 2 as that was the game that is much more personal to me and will delv into that in another post. 

But really I'm hoping that Sony manage to pull this remastered trilogy off for the 20th anniversary, but the bigger question is will Naughty Dog be involved with development ? As considering they sold the rights for Crash to other developers it wouldn't be fair to not let the creators be involved with the process. 
Who knows after the remastered trilogy Naughty Dog might get the rights back and create a whole new Crash franchise. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead but it would be a really cool idea, who knows a Crash Twinsanity remaster. Although it was a good game it still felt kinda broken. 

But anyways I'm happy with the news of one of my favorite game series being remastered and could hold good things for the future for the fans as well as the developers behind the games.

Monochrome Yakuza's: Massacre Gun Film Review

Good Evening all !

The other week I purchased a film that really caught my eye called Massacre Gun, as I love Asian cinema and decided to give this one a go. It came with both DVD and Blu ray formats for a very reasonable price of just £8.99. Arrow Video the masterminds of restoring classic 70's and 80's horror B movies as well as a few timeless classics, have given this Japanese Yakuza flick the same treatment. 

With newly translated subtitles and restored high definition 1080p quality, as well as some very interesting special features with interviews etc. This film was well worth the money I have to say. 

I love Arrow Video's films and most of the films they publish are hit or miss. The titles to truly hunt for are one's such as "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", "VideoDrome" and "Society". As well as some underrated B-movies such as "Street Trash" and "The deadly Spawn". Now this is all good and dandy they also release some utter crap such as "Microwave massacre" and "The stuff". 

The artwork on all of Arrow's DVD's are awesome and gives them a fresh new look that is appealing to look at, especially as they feel like an old 70's/80's VHS cover that has some interesting novelty. And there is also the reversible sleeve with the original Art also.

But enough about this, lets get into the film itself. 
The story is about hitman Kuroda who refuses to continue working for his Yakuza boss after he is forced to kill his lover. (Which he does). Kuroda's other two brothers, Eiji who owns a Jazz nightclub and Saburo who is an up and coming boxer. Are both outraged that he murdered a person he truly loved, so Kuroda quits and a mob retaliation occurs resulting in an all out turf war between factions. 

The cinematography and directing is surprisingly good for a low budget film as the gritty black and white gives a gorgeously dark atmosphere to this noire spectacle, it looks especially gorgeous on Blu Ray which adds to the fantasticness. (That's a word I made up). For a film made in 1968 it is very violent from blood splattering in all directions the eye can see as well as some brief nudity. It surprised me as this was a film made in the same year Night of the Living dead was released which also broke new ground in the horror genre containing graphic scenes of Zombies feasting on human flesh.



If you cannot stand subtitles, then this movie isn't for you as there is no way to put on English dubbing. Which is how it should be as most dubbing in International films is really rather crap. But if you're not bothered about reading them then you will perhaps have a blast watching this. The  story is very different which gives something different for the noir genre, but nothing that changes it completely. As well as character names being tricky to remember that can make the viewing experience confusing on identifying who is who. 

Apart from that this film is very good and has lots of replay value.

-Gabe

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MOVIE RANT : The major problem with Transformers: Age of extinction

Alright ? 

Since the news of a new Transformers film being in the works I thought it would be appropriate to talk Transformers.

Now I love me some good blockbuster flicks now and again, a film which is a lot of fun which can easily pull me out of the plug socket of reality.  For instance a preference for me is classics like Star Wars , Indiana Jones and even the Michael Bay Transformers trilogy , that's right I said trilogy because I refuse to accept Age of Extinction as an installment in the Transformers series. 

Now I know how many people hate the Transformers films which is 100% fine as it is your own personal opinion, but to me watching these films again takes me back to my youth and anyone growing up around that time will probably understand the same hype and excitement eight year old me was feeling when Transformers came out in Theatre's in 2007. 
It was a film which amazed me and stuck in my brain for years later for a number of reasons.

The visuals hold up incredibly well for a film using CG effects 9 years ago, the Human and Transformer characters are mostly memorable whilst the story is fairly good. This is the same with 2 and 3 although the trilogy itself has a lot of flaws as the films go on, for instance the dialogue can be sometimes very poorly written as well as unmemorable Autobots and Decepticons that are added into the mix for the next two installments with a hint of stereotyping. Racial and social. Although these flaws are present, to me they are still very decent films which are enjoyable. 

Then that's when Transformers the Age of Extinction came along and ruined the foundations of what was a fairly good film series. Now the plot is OK and some scenes are reasonably Ok but apart from that. Lets rip this thing wide open. 

Ok , so lets begin with some of the characters. For example Nicola Peltz who has some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a blockbuster, if you don't know who she is she played Katara in the joke of film that is The Last Airbender. Her dialogue makes me cringe as she sounds like an early , also Irish actor Jack Reynor has some incredibly cringey lines that should not even be included in any film at all at anytime. 

But even Stanley Tucci wound me up big time and he has been in some fairly decent roles in his acting career mind, the reason being that his character who is an ignorant entrepreneur owns a company called KSI (notice the stupid name?). And his goal is to make his own Transformers , which is all nice and dandy until one called Galvatron (notice the 80's reference) begins to go rogue. That is the basis of the story as humans now know how to make Transformers, however I find it ridiculous that the Autobots are now being hunted by the Humans after they ended the "War of Chicago" in the third film. 

Even John Goodman who is a fantastic actor that provided the voice of memorable characters, such as the big blue lovable monster Sully and even Baloo in the Jungle Book 2. He plays an Autobot called Hound and I feel really sorry for Goodman playing this role as he should be given some much better material to work with. Now I have nothing against the actual character just the dialogue. All he does is shout of random one liners which are incredibly cheesy. 

Also the cg effects are OK, their convincing to a certain level but nowhere near as good as its predecessors. 

Overall the fourth installment is complete tripe and I wont be watching it again any time soon, hopefully the next installment will be a much bigger improvement, as it is rumored Shia Labeouf  may be returning. Now I know this rant is probably not accurate and some people could rip this film apart even more for why its bad.
But anyway this has been my movie rant. 

Ciao.

The boat that rocked big time!

Ok so last Friday I went to go and see Japan's finest metal core group Coldrain at the Thekla.

They are perhaps one of the best international band's going today as well as Crossfaith.
Their performance was excellent and the whole band played brilliantly non stop without losing steam, they are a really talented group that know how to please a crowd of screaming fans.

Lead singer Masato's cold screams blend with melodic choruses that really work well together. And makes anyone bob their head to the breakdowns as well.

I will definitely recommend Cold rain to anyone who is a fan of metal or hardcore such as Crossfaith, Asking Alexandria and Bring me the horizon.

The Jungle Book 2016 Review and Thoughts

So recently I had the pleasure of viewing the highly anticipated film The Jungle Book. 

It is a visually stunning film which I think is similar to Chicken Tikka Masala. A dish that never fails to please the pallet or the senses. Depending if you like curry or not.

But really the film is a very enjoyable film which left me feeling like I'd been injected with a needle of pure Nostalgia for a number of reasons. 


The whole premises of the film such as the atmosphere and scenery is gorgeous and truly makes you feel immersed as the re-imagined story unfolds, the depth of detail is in incredible.
The CGI characters are very well thought out and have tonnes of believability and charm, naturally making small hints of the 1967 classic show through. Bill Murray is fantastic as Baloo and is perfect for the of role of a lazy , charismatic Bear that is funny and fits in well with the performance. 

Neel Sethi is exactly like Mowgli in the original classic, with his brave but almost vulnerable stance which  feels like the character has been reincarnated in the real world. His fluent interaction with a completely CGI cast is great and makes the experience more enjoyable as he knows what to interact with at what time. 
Idris Elba is absolutely fantastic as Sheer Khan and makes the villanous Tiger feel much more powerful and intimidating than the original. And Christopher Walken is. Well. Christopher Walken need I say more. He was born to play King Louie.

However considering the pros of the film it also has its cons. Scarlet Johansen playing Kaa was fairly disappointing. Not that her role was bad at all in any way, but how much screen time the character has which makes Kaa forgettable. This was very disappointing as Kaa was a quirky character in the original classic who was sly but comical, but in the 2016 version I feel its not quite the same.
Another thing which bothered me was how much the film made me jump in places, I mean I'm not usually a jumpy person *Eyes dart in different directions*. But the sheer amount of jumpiness in the film was not even funny, John Favreau stop it man.

But really. The Jungle Book is a warm hearted film for all ages and would definantley recommend it, as it is on par with the original. It mixes modern Computer film making skills with old fashioned story telling and it works very well. I feel that from now on Disney should get Favreau to make other live action retelling's of old story's, because although Digital effects are considered over used whilst taking away the craft of making a film. The Jungle Book shows that you can create gorgeous visuals with Digital effects which has soul and passion.

Well done Mr Favreau and co. You should be proud.

4 great Horror Films you've (probably) never heard of

Hello people. 
Crikey I haven't put up a post in over a month and half that's crazy ! 
But as this is the first post in ages I decided to do a top 4 of some obscure Horror gems that are Surprisingly very good. All films are not positioned in the rank of obscurity.

At no.4

Pi 
Year of release 1998 
Directed by Daren Aronofsky 

Not part of the horror genre but truly a nightmare scenario.
Pi is a strange film that uses quirky dreamlike conventions to tell a compelling story of obsession. The plot is about paranoid Mathematician Max Cohen (Sean Gullettee), who discovers he has found a number which could be the key to unlocking the universal patterns in nature. This tale of a mathematicians unhealthy solution to finding life's hidden mystery is also shot in gorgeous monochrome Black and White due to keeping the budget low, added to the gritty and unnerving atmosphere of Max's decent into pure insanity. 





No.3

Splinter 
Year of release 2008
Directed by Toby Wilkins 

This indie monster movie is a gem which shouldn't be over looked by any avid horror movie fan who loves practical effects and gore. When a couple go on a camping trip to celebrate their anniversary, all hell breaks loose when their Car is hijacked by a man and woman on the run. And the cherry on top of the cake of disaster is that there is an aggressive parasite on the prowl looking for sustenance in the gas station they go to. Claustrophobic , Grizzly and Stressful. Splinter is a film which is superbly acted and written that will definitely make you squeal with terror.




No.2

Bad Taste 
Year of release 1987 

Directed by Peter Jackson

Peter Jackson's cinematic debut Bad Taste is a fun and bloody film about an Alien Invasion who is looking for food, and their preferred option is of course you guessed it. Humans. 
Filmed over the span of four years and on a shoe string budget, Jackson and his mates built everything themselves from the weaponry to the Aliens themselves. Bad Taste won best film at Cannes film festival in France 1992, it is a cult classic which helped put Peter Jackson on the map of film making whilst demonstrating that anyone can make a film with passion, dedication and also no budget. 



No.1


Tetsuo: The Iron Man 
Year of release: 1989 
Directed by Shinya Tsukamoto 

Now this films is like Marmite, people love it or hate it. Tetsuo is about a Salary man (Tomoro Taguchi) and his girlfriend who run over a pedestrian known as the Metal Fetishist (Tsukamoto) and leave him for dead in a hit and run incident. 
Slowly the Salary man begins to turn into a Scrap metal robot that is being controlled by the Fetishists rage. Dark, Psychotic and completely off the rails. Tetsuo is a film that will leave you feeling assaulted and confused beyond measure when the credits role. 
Filmed in 8mm black and white whilst taking inspiration from directors David Lynch and David Cronenberg, Shinya Tsukamoto is one of Japans finest and well known underground film makers still working today and truly kicked off the Cyberpunk genre. 

Ridiculous rant #1 (17/3/16) *Contains bad mouth words*

Alright people of the Blogging world and beyond ?

Gabe here with just a little mix to the whole blog thing, where I rant about something very silly but something you all probably think is annoying in our everyday lives. Mind you this is a Joke and I really do not hate Bartenders.

So today's rant is about...... Ice in Drinks

I am not joking when I say this but I find it a great pain in the ass when a Bar tender in a restaurant automatically assumes that you like incredibly diluted fizzy drinks with an added Lemon wedge that looks suspiciously re used as it supposedly makes the drink look more appetising.
But honestly it doesn't and I cannot win, every time I ask for no Ice what do I get ? That's right folks you guessed it. Fucking Ice !
Floating at the top saying what up Gabe hows your day going mind if I piss you off with my presence ?

Its just an irritating part of life that can get on mostly everyone's nerves and beyond. Now your probably wondering in your head this has been ranted about before etc, but really its something that has been bugging me for years and enough is enough before we know it, all of our fizzy beverages will one day become just a watery mess of disappointment and tears.

Another thing that really shakes my Doritos is when you say can I have a Glass of Coke at the Bar and as the person serving you is pouring the drink, you see the tap says Pepsi written in big letters. But before you can say anything your drink is poured and all you can do is pay for your beverage and look at the bartender take your cold hard cash whilst you sulk back to your seat and wait for your food to arrive.

Official Graphic Novel Plans (13/3/16)

Alright People of Earth ?

Ok so here is the story for my Graphic Novel.

THORNE BLOODED

Meet Locky Thorne , your average 18 year old young man raised by a loving family and taught the wisdom and essential skills of survival and self defense by his Father. Till one day at the market his life is flipped upside down when he meets a strange man called Suda claiming that he is in fact the son of the worlds most dangerous deceased Warlord Baldric Von Melody.

Little does Locky know that he is the key to Melody's Inheritance of  Wealth and the Eire to an Empire built on corruption and misery which is only accessible through a DNA lock, in other words Locky is the only person who can gain access through just a drop of blood. He must go on the Journey of travelling to the Melody Empire for his birthright but the all important question remains. 
Will Locky continue his fathers deadly legacy or stand up for the millions of peoples lives his father ruined ? 

Mind you this is a demo of what I want the story to be about and it is likely to change especially the Title. I hope that what I have come up with is something that is interesting and also feel free to leave a comment on the Blog or send me an inbox message on the Facebook page for some constructive criticism it would be very appreciated. 

There will be more announced about characters but I am trying to keep it as low profile as possible as Im paranoid of people stealing my stuff sounds dumb I know.

Anyway av a good day and take care 

-Gabe :3

Awesome talk time ! (11/3/16)

Alright you lot ?

I recently (well 3 weeks ago actually) went to a little rental store on Christmas steps called 20th Century Flicks, I just found the flyer they gave me lying around in my room and thought it would be a good idea to write about it now.

You may think this is an over exaggeration when saying this but I'm being completely honest, it is one of the best independent shops on the high street today in my opinion . As just walking into the small shop is like walking into a Tardis accept this Tardis is filled with DVD's , VHS Tapes and a round table surrounded with directors chairs in the middle of the shop. they sell hot drinks too. But what makes this little shop a great place to visit for me is that the people who run the store are cool and also the titles that are rentable are ones that you can rarely ever find in a regular mainstream DVD shop which is brilliant. They also do purchasable films as well which I was especially pleased when I managed to pick up Darren Aronofsky's debut film PI for 2 quid. What is also awesome is that they have their own cinema room with a capacity of 11 seats so its great for inviting your friends to go and watch a good film together.
I would defiantly recommend this store to any enthusiastic movie fan or Independent shop obsessionist in Bristol, or anywhere on Earth really to be honest because it is a shop booming with Character in Bristol's most historic streets that still stands with pride and heritage today.

GO CHECK EM OUT ! 
You wont be disappointed. (Although it depends what your looking for really ).
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http://20thcenturyflicks.co.uk/

ALSO ! my college friend has got a Youtube channel called SirJackW , if your into Undertale animation sketches and other gaming shenanigans then check him out :3. (And I did not mean check HIM out literally that would be weird). 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxLS78UIXxJUYQY3BS3qWyQ

But for the meantime stay tuned for now as the news about the graphic novel will be revealed soon. 

Have a great day :3

Small Update 08/3/16

Hello , Gabe here.
Just a quick reminder that I have created a Facebook page with the same name , so if you are interested in the Bloggingness then go and check out the Facebook page ! It will continue to have Bristol related events mentioned such as Slapstick Festival so don't fret.

At the moment I am under going the plan of making a graphic novel project with my friend but it is currently in pre-planning and will be updated via blogger when time passes and also when a story has been pulled out from my Brain. I find the Witty Guild a good place to update this project as I can maintain it easily.
But for the meantime stay tuned with what is to come of the year (if you want to that is , its your choice).

-Cheers
Gabe :3

My Slapstick Festival Experience

I have been going to the Slapstick festival for over 3 years now, ever since 14 year old me was dragged along to the Old Vic by his Dad to go and watch some rare Buster Keaton flicks hosted by Bill Oddie. I was both excited as I knew who Bill Oddie was and nervous as I didn't know what to expect from the actual event. Ever since then its been an annual thing for me and my family to go each year especially this time around in 2016 when I got the chance to see Steven Merchant talk about his top comedy moments at the St Georges Hall and get a photo/autograph by him afterwards.

He was a really nice bloke and took the time for his fans which is what makes this Festival great. Everyone who is involved with the festival are incredibly polite , welcoming and take time out to chat with others who are massive fans of their work.

My fondest memory's of slapstick was that  I got the privilege of meeting Writer/Comedian Barry Cryrer as well as receiving an autograph from him before going to see a talk with Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer at the Old Vic theatre. Another fond memory I have of Slapstick is where I met Nick Park from Aardman the creator of the worldwide animated popular duo Wallace and Gromit.
Yes I am wearing the same Jacket. I like this Jacket.





But really the whole Festival is very chilled out, with famous creative people mingling with the general public and just generally enjoying themselves. 

Michael Crawford at Slapstick Festival April 8th 2016 Bristol

With Bristol's highly popular Annual Slapstick Festival continuing this year with some of Comedy's greatest Icons, Michael Crawford will be at St George's hall on April 8th in discussion about playing the role of the significantly clumsy yet highly cherishable Frank Spencer. Who in 1973 became one of Television's most popular onscreen characters in the classic comedy series "Some mother's do av em" (1973-78), especially in the notorious scene where a day out for Frank at an indoor rollerskating rink goes terribly wrong for all the right reasons, making Crawford a celebrity icon around the UK and inspiring comedians for generations to come.

He is considered to most people the Jackie Chan of Visual Comedy and is a title worthy to this status due to his dedication and passion into making the nation laugh out loud with his own array of dangerous yet highly amusing stunt performances that would make anybody's toes curl. He has also been involved in popular musicals such as The Wizard of Oz and the Phantom of the Opera gaining Multiple theatre awards for best acting performance.

Crawford will also be presented in the evening with the Aardman Slapstick Visual comedy award by the Festival organizers and Aardman animations. If you want to be a part of celebrating this fantastic evening event then tickets are on sale now and are available on the St Georges hall website.

                         JOIN THE FUN !
Go to the Webpage below for more information.    
http://www.stgeorgesbristol.co.uk/event/michael-crawford-visual-comedy-legend/